Sunday, November 4, 2012

Al-Fatihah to my tok Zainal Mokhtar Harun

“Have you ever lost someone you love and wanted one more conversation, one more chance to make up for the time when you thought they would be here forever? If so, then you know you can go your whole life collecting days, and none will outweigh the one you wish you had back.”
 Mitch Albom, For One More Day

How do you lose someone and be ok, knowing that your life will never ever be the same ? My tok was no one special, a teacher, a grandfather, a husband, a father a friend. All normal roles played by many people.

But he was very special to me. He used to tell me that I looked just like his mom, that I was fussy about the way I dressed just like her.

I hated my curly hair, I was always trying to tame it, straighten it failing which I will scrape everything into a tight bun. He would always tell me my curls were pretty. He would tell me stories about how back in the day people paid good money to get their hair set in curls at the salon.

When I was twelve, he took me to get my ID done, a pretty significant day as my dad was away at work in Australia. He wore a blue and brown batik shirt drove us to the centre told me stories I don’t remember and we stood in line together.

During my teenage years when the cousins used to spend the weekend at their house in Gurney, he would include us in his errands telling us stories of the time he worked in University Malaya. He would make silly jokes in the car about words or farts. I learned  most of my fart jokes from him believe it or not.

He would go * diam diam senyap * and we would go quiet from all the running and screaming and he would fart. A big loud fart and we would laugh our heads off.

Hari Raya was a big occasion to him. Up until a few years ago, he still insisted on putting on the fairy lights, changing the curtains, cleaning the compound * nak raya kena kemas kemas pasang lampu untuk cucu cucu *

I stayed with my tok and opah when I first started working newly married fumbling my way through life. In a room downstairs. Every breakfast served. Every late night a concerned call.

When I moved, they asked when will I come and visit? Always so busy always working nights not good. * Yana tak nak sambung belajar ke* buat masters jadi lecturer mcm mama* just a smile a nod from me.

So much waste too much clutter I thought I was figuring out my life, when I should have just taken some time and spent it with you.

The last phonecall a week before you left. Again asking for a visit. Again I got delayed at work and you left for the hospital. I thought I still have time I’ll make it. I’ll make the date.

A few days before I would never see you again, you were not yourself not much conversation just sitting observing the big family the laughter smiling at the little ones running amok in your house. A request from Opah, take you to your room you are tired needed some rest.

This is my regret. Not being there whenever you asked just for a little of my time. And then you were gone. Just like that one phonecall.

Mama told me bila teringat baca fatihah sedeqah so that you will be surrounded by light. I read one for you almost every day. I hope you are surrounded by light. I hope you know how much you were loved by me. May you blessed placed among  the soliheen in Jannah.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

First ever mommy on a budget style post :)

I enjoy dressing up. There is something about putting together an outfit that makes me feel happy for no particular reason at all. I'am not claiming to be fashionable, I have a few hit and misses here and there, its just something I enjoy that takes me away from the daily stress.

But being a mommy on a budget, I can't really splurge because well I have other commitments :) So am always on the look out for a good bargain. I'am going to start these series of post where I post outfit snaps of yours truly just to keep track of whats in my wardrobe.

Or maybe hopefully inspire other mommies on a budget that a particular item need not be expensive to look good :) 

I am also in the process of curating the wardrobe with more quality pieces that will last for years to come instead of buying new clothes that will go out of style in a few months. 

SO here it goes * shy shy cat * 

Excuse the makeup-less face. wearing a super large pashmina from jusco, my casio vintage watch warehouse shirt  I grabbed on sale. warehouse would be too expensive for my budget otherwise and a cotton jersey  skirt also from sale by nicole. :) this is a typical work outfit for me! Also please excuse the state of my room. We were moving at that point and everything is was ermmm still is in a blardy MESS. :( 

The white shirt and the skirt are my basics and I pair them with almost everything. I also like the odd combo of blue and brown :P

Okay this did not go so bad did it?! hahahhaha. till my next post insyallah.

Friday, October 12, 2012

Pack up.

Pack up.
my new obsession is polyvore! A girl can dream :)

Limi Feu long dress

Chanel handbag

Isharya moonstone ring
$98 -

Yves saint laurent
$1,055 -

Flower hair accessory
$13 -

Ray Ban ray ban
$220 -

Max factor makeup
$22 -

Monday, October 8, 2012

Phuket Day Three.

Day three was the highlight as were going to visit the islands around Phuket. I was a bit nervous as to how Ayra would react once on the boat. Would she get scared? or worse sea sick? But I was being silly and paranoid of course because once she got on that boat she was a little sailor. She was telling me what she saw and kept singing ! I was sure the other passengers were going to be super annoyed, but because she was the only kid on the boat they were extra nice and we were given special treatment! We got in and out of the boat first and we got to sit where there was the nicest view! Ok folks on to the pictures :)

Ayra and Daddy at the jetty so freaking early in the morning before leaving. We were assigned boats according to colour and were given a safety briefing by a she-man. Couldn't snap a picture as Ayra was with me and I was scared that the she-man she would beat me HAHAHA

I bought the tudung and the printed harem pants at the market near the hotel * shopaholicalert * the first time I'am attempting to mix similar coloured prints!
View from the boat. SO beautiful masyallah
and that is HOW BLUE AND CLEAR the seawater was *pengsan*
little feet in the sand :) 

As you can see I was a very happy girl on an island. Now someone give me a truckload of money so I can buy this ISLAND please.
 Ok folks till third-day part two. These series of posts is making the wanderlust bug in me quite restless.

Saturday, October 6, 2012

Phuket :Day Two Part Two

I know. This is long overdue. So I'll post pictures and caption them :) 

Karon View Point offers spectacular views of Karon and Kata beaches on the south side of Phuket. We went there after the Zoo trip and as you can see Ayra has changed clothes and is a bit tired :p

Taken with my humble pink canon. SO this picture does not do the view justice 
We stayed to see the sunset. Pretty view of the beaches. Sigh. looking a this makes me want to take a plane and fly out NOW.
Ayra Rayyan is finally happy after some ice cream :) One of my favourite pictures of  her. 
We hung out at Kata Beach for while before heading back to the hotel to get ready for FantaSea.
Arrived at FantaSea to be greeted by this pretty lady. I was busy checking out the costumes. Got to love the traditional thai costumes. FantaSea is a themepark with a huge cultural show situated in Kamala Beach. And yes they have like hundreds of beaches in Phuket :P 
Palace of the Elephants. There were elephant rides and you could TOUCH the elephants I almost cried. I LOVE elephants. The cultural show is inside this building quite a magnificent view at night.
When you pay the entrance fee it includes dinner and I was quite happy to find out that they had a halal section. SO no worries there.
The eating hall was also huge!! So there was no trouble finding a spot to eat. Although if you're late it can be quite a distance to walk to your table from the buffet spread.
Ehem. Excuse the Om Nom Nom expressions!! And the large amounts of food. Gotta get your money's worth right?! RIGHT?! hahahaha
I got to touch this beautiful creature. The highlight of the trip for me :) 
Ended the night with a banana and nutella crepe. Hot and crispy and oh so  SEDAP 
Next Phuket entry will be about our visit to the beautiful islands :) 

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

My Tudung/Hijab styling story and two tutorials :)


Firstly I would like to very much stress here that I'm not any sort of 'hijabista' or whatever. The word itself confuses me. I'm just a normal woman/girl who likes to dress up and has a little obsession with shoes accessories clothes and bags.

Yes in this department I don't mind being labelled the typical girl :P 

This  post is made especially for those who have asked me about how I wear my hijab, and where I buy my hijabs. Some have even requested a tutorial but I really don't think the way I tie my everyday scarf is special. I feel mostly embarrassed because there are really more stylish hijab wearing girls out there who know better about hijab styling and do this kind of thing for a living.

I mostly play with colours and my favourite go to standard colour is black which is fool proof. My style has been pretty much the same over the years, I started with the bawal scarf, then the syria scarf  and later progressed to shawls.

The change from the bawal to the style I wear now was due to the limited time I had in ironing all the bawal tudung after Ayra was born, the syria tudung was just beginning to gain popularity then and was very hard to source for ( at first I thought I looked really silly wearing the syria as it really emphasized the roundness of my face) but because it was super convenient and fast I stuck with it and later got used to it. Imagine wearing a tudung in thirty seconds it was that fast!!

The syria comprises of an inner cap that is worn close to your head and a tube like outer hijab which you can slide on. But then the short syria tudungs weren't giving me the coverage I needed as it was cut very small sometimes with very itchy and uncomfortable fabric due to limited stocks available.

That's when I tried using shawls with the syria inner caps. Using shawls requires a bit more time but if its the basic style you can be done in three to four minutes. First timers would probably take five to ten minutes tops, depending on the fabric of course. Softer fabrics can take longer to style especially if you're using silk and satin.
back when I was still wearing the tudung bawal.

Then I started wearing syria's

The style I wear in this picture here is a typical Syria tudung which you can see does not have the required length and width that you will be needing. Its best to cover the chest area. 

I would also like to stress that I'm still learning to be a better Muslim insyallah. And have only recently been reading more on Islam and the how to properly wear the hijab which includes covering the chest area and wearing looser clothes. Again my hijab journey has been a complicated one and maybe I will share that story in another post as this post is going to be more on hijab styling.

I don't really like fancy styles of tying the shawl  that hang lose around the face or that required lots of twisting and turning of fabric (because I think I would choke myself hahahaha and I don't think that the true purpose of the hijab is to complicate your life :) as seen in this photo here:

I googled hijab star wars LOL !! although the head covering is super ridiculous Nat Portman of course looks as gorgeous as ever!

 It baffles me how someone can spend hours styling their hijab in front of a mirror especially after prayers in the surau five times in a day, I feel that the time spent on all that twisting and turning ( pun intended) can be used for other things. ( OK slap me lah I'm a mom after all!) 

But of course this is a preference. IF you have oodles of time in your hands why not? For me I can't afford to tie complicated knots on my head mainly because I hate the look my husband gives me when I'm late getting ready, and I need to get my daughter ready as well. My work also requires me to move around a lot so complicated styles are just not very realistic.

From the religious point of view, I've read that your hijab is not suppose to attract a lot of attention anyways. * this topic would also be discussed in another lengthy post whenever I find the timeto properly research my topic.

Usually I measure the difficulty of achieving a certain drape or style by how fast I can put it  back on after prayers and with the least amount of pins.Five minutes is all I'm willing to spend on my everyday hijab.

Babies are also good testing tools for hijabs. The hijab style has to be secure enough so that when babies pull on it, your awrah will not show and your hijab will not look as if its been through a hurricane. :)

Hence I've graduated to this style :

This style is my basic everyday style. My rule nowadays is if my tops are loose I can shorten the length of the hijab but if my outfit is not that loose I lower my hijab or use a hijab that is big and has more fabric. As you can see in the next picture I'am wearing a style that has more drapes in the front but is still styled in the same way.

This is my favourite leopard print hijab by the way matches everything. My sisters also have different styles that I might blog about later

This is also another voluminous style variant of my basic style

For this style you would need an undercap, a shawl one pin to secure the shawl under the chin another pin to secure it on the side. ( This is optional as you can leave it without securing it but this usually is not a good option for ladies who are on the  go)

I've included two tutorial videos here. The first one is by TudungPeople which demonstrates one of the easiest ways to tie a hijab that has a generous amount of fabric. The second video is by 14th Road Productions which demonstrates how to achieve the basic styles for newbies. The way I tie my shawl is the third option which is the basic wrap scarf.  Happy Styling and I hope all of this helps. (This link is also great reading material for those who have just started wearing the hijab. :) thanks for reading)


Monday, July 23, 2012

The proposal :)

This is a fact.  My husband never proposed to me. We talked about marriage. But no proposals. Surprised?

There are of course perfect proposals, the ones greatly orchestrated by the guy of course to convince the girl to spend the rest of her life with him.

There was nothing like that for us. Nothing grand or unusual. No flowers or rings. No youtube videos or songs or poems.

The thing is I never needed convincing, I was sort of convinced that he was never ever going to leave and he was going to be permanently stuck with me. Like it or not. Well god willing of course.

In fact I sort of proposed to him after we finished our degree. We sat in his very normal car (a red beat up kancil) on a weekend, and I just blurted something along these lines.

So b, I need to know ni, you nak kahwin dengan yana tak? Sebab kalau taknak baik cakap awal-awal You know so yana tak buang masa and I really malas nak cari anyone else, and well we better get engaged or something or so you know the family will know we are sort of serious ke apa ke.

* cricket sounds *

Outside I was all cool and steely looking. Inside if he had said no I would have turned out a mess.

Finally after what seemed forever, he said “ ok nanti b cakap dengan mama”

And that was that. That is my proposal story!

He was at that time working crazy hours in TV3 and I was working with a salary of only RM1000 a month.
But we managed, when we plan something good and ask for Allah to bless us, the rezeki will come. This is something I firmly believe in.

We did not have a fancy schazmy wedding. No elaborate before and after photo shoots. Just the necessary. Five years down the line, I'm very happy that I was the one who proposed, I did not even think it was a big deal at the time.

People seem to think otherwise. Their mouths form a big huge O and they go YOU PROPOSED?!

Yeah I did and I'am very happy with my choice. Yes I'm a girl but no big deal seriously. I would like to advice other girls to do the same. Just ask you never know what's in store.

And if you feel nervous,  remember according to Sirah, it was Khadijah who proposed marriage to the younger Prophet Muhammad, (PBUH) she being about the age of 40 and he 25. She and Muhammad were married in 595 C.E., a marriage that lasted for about 25 years until her death. She was the great love of his life, and he did not take another polygynous wife until after her death.

:) so if you have a special someone. Take the first step, and if he does not agree do not be disappointed. After all Allah knows best. :)  Alhamdullilah I got really lucky. Happy anniversary H another post about you such a lucky husband you are :P

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Daddy loves Ayra Rayyan.

I actually wanted to post a birthday dedication for Ayra on the date itself. Tapi I was so busy with her birthday preparations I forgot. SO here it goes two months late but straight from the heart.

I want you to know,  three years ago that when the doctor fished you out of me and after I groggily kissed you, I wanted to passed out. I think they wheeled you out for Daddy to azankan.

Next thing I knew I was in the observation ward as my blood pressure had spiked way past the normal limit, and the doctors were sort of worried that I was losing a lot of blood. I insisted to the nurse to see Daddy because I was scared. And you want to know what was the first words daddy told me about you?

He said, Ayra ( we had chosen your name when you were about six months in my tummy) is beautiful. Mata sepet but sangat cantik, sangat perfect and he cried a bit.

And I would never ever forget that moment.

So in case when you grow older, and when he scolds you about wearing looser clothes, covering yourself, checks all of your social networking accounts and gives you a super early curfew and is being mean to all of your guy friends, I want you to remember this.

I want you to know that he loves you like no other guy can ever love you EVER.

Even know, he watches you when you're asleep, thinks you're the funniest person he has ever met and constantly tells you how comel you are despite you being busuk masam baru bangun tidur and naughty and annoying at times.

SO happy being three years old sweets. Don't hate daddy when you turn thirteen ok? Even when he is being weird, because he can be so weird sometimes hahaha.

Mama :)

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Phuket Experience ( Day Two )

Comfortable shoes an essential part of a fun-filled trip. Kalau salah pilih kasut will result in a very cranky me, a very annoyed H and a blissfully unaware Miss Ayra
Patong beach was within walking distance of the Hotel, but I preferred the island beaches this one was way crowded. and over exposed. But when it is kind of empty during lunch hours it is kinda of pretty.
I requested to visit this old building refurbished into a restaurant. I like old buildings. A good place to write a story always.
THE HOUSE, isn't it beautiful and oh so grand. The settings of a novel so pretty!!
the grounds of the house. macam boleh berjalan-jalan bercinta-cinta pakai baju cantik cantik LOL :P duduk bawah payung have a picnic recite poems. Ok too much I know. ends.
Official Vehicle dengan nama macam kalau Ayra addresses my papa: Tukkkk oooo Tukkkkk. Ha lebih kurang cham tu la. Suka sangat dua beranak pimpin tangan
Dah sampai zoo. I was actually suprised ada zoo. Lagi suprised with the statues. Ayra kept pointing at them and telling me that ' crocodile got nenen mama' *facepalm*  
Elephants!! this one shy shy and just wanted his awesome behind to be photographed
Finally scouted for some rasuah and she decided to layan me! Looks like she is smiling kan?
Ayra finished a bottle of mineral water weather memang panas island weather!
I could not resist posting this excuse all of your sensibilities LOL.
Ice cream to end the trip

Ok this actually only the first part of day two. So till the second part of day two! :)