Friday, December 14, 2007

Inspiration found !

‘ I do not claim my work to be mine- they belong to the ultimate creator’ Mohamad Din Mohamad - Khat artist

I had one of my morning talks with afiko, and we were discussing my slow progress in generating byline stories - serious stories.
I was complaning and whining my lack of real talent - I mean I cant sing I dance to my own tunes - which is mostly shaking my body from left to right and whole lot of clapping I’am mostly quiet - I only speak when spoken to unless I’am very comfortable with the person ( people often make the mistake that just because I’am not babbling about world issues I’am not thinking about them)I just dont think useless chatter will change anything. I believe in quiet determination. Really I do.
Guess this growing up business has left me a little jaded. I mean with everything that’s happening in the world in my country who wouldnt be>
Well I’am not going to discuss politics now. Anyways afiko was telling me that I shouldnt be so negative and that I should believe in my own writing abilities and sooner or later everything will flow.
Unfortunately the pessimist in me rears its ugly head sometimes. I’am starting to think that maybe I’am not such a great writer after all. Maybe I”am just average. Maybe I’am believing in some ghostly invisible talent.
My assignment lead me to a secluded art gallery smack in the middle of Kuala Lumpur, nearby my opah’s place. I immediately felt at home. As I was talking to the artists about their works, I began to feel ashamed of my lack of passion.

It was then that I decided, that I will not lose the will try. I will not lose my ability to be excited. I’am going to look at everything in every fresh angle possible. I will not be defeated even if they’re going throw everything against me. I will do justice to every small little story ever.
I will believe that I’am a writer and Allah gave me this talent to affect change, to do the best I can. And any good story written will be because of his blessings, any not anything else.

So. If the decision sways in any way I will accept. But I will not quit. Just wasnt brought up that way.

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

waiting to be elevated.

Hello Hello Hello. Been having severe high and lows this two weeks. And its only wednesday. Giler right?

High point - I got to check out shaggy at the Live and Loud music festival/concert thing last saturday. Besides being overcharged for nourishment aka as food and drinks, the atmosphere was gewd, got to chill with a few friends and dance ( which I havent been doing in a long time except in the privacy of my room when I feel a jig coming up) and despite the drizzling rain. I loved every second of it- It was a good thing that we met up with my husband's friend amin at the concert coz he so got the moves..;-) so it made me semangat as well..

Anyway back to the concert, afterwards we headed down to A&W and had vanilla floats with coney dogs and it was just like the old days when the hubby and me had late night foodie dates ( I miss these late nights ) It was a great stress buster. Plus checking out shaggy up close was not bad either. ( very hot bod ;-p) Almost time for me to scurry to an assignment - will catch up with you on the low points - my bitch fest sessions tee hee later..