Melancholy Melons

I'am feeling gloomy and a bit restless - so this is going to be a draggging post. And I can drag ( according to my dear editors) so please do not hesitate to refrain yourself from reading any further, if you're not in the mood to hear a waddling watermelon whine.

Everything now is sort of mixed in my head like a good plate of rojak. I lose track of my thoughts, forget things, am extremely moody, and on top of that I'am worried about future events, you know the small things like will I be a good parent? will we be good parents? what will happen when the pains finally start to come? will I be able to handle it and yada yada yada.....

I guess its nothing to be alarmed about right? I mean everyone worries about the same thing? I'am of course perfectly mentally well. Only I'am about to become a nervous wreck. Geesh. I feel like Ally Mcbeal. I should just start talking walls and mirrors right now.

Okay the real thing that is bugging me right at this very moment is its one day to my due date - which is tomorrow. Its 8.00 am now and I'am here writing away to keep my sanity, ( erm if I was ever sane to begin with) because everything just seems to be soo soo normal to the point that anything else might seem slightly interesting.

Let me backtrack a bit.
Last week during my hospital visit( my visits are weekly now since I'am in my 39th week and supposedly I can deliver anytime?) my ob-gynae did the cardiotocography (CTG) scan which basically measures your baby's heartbeat and activity level plus your contraction levels.

I was annoyed because H could not come in with me to the ultrasound room ( I'am not sure why) Its a very uncomfortable procedure to me because I have to lie on my back for 15 minutes staring at the ceiling hooked to machines and because the room is nearby I think a karim rojak stand - I can actually hear people ordering rojak alongside my baby's heartbeat! ( how's that for magical moments?)

So according to the graph results produced by this machine, everything is progressing okay but a little slowly- meaning baby is active (good) but I have no major contractions yet ( erm don't know if this is good).

Doc told me not to worry so much as only five per cent of babies are born on their expected due date. She did ask me about date preferences though - since I'am expected to see her again tomorrow and if I really wanted baby to come tomorrow we could try to induce labor!

I almost felt like bursting right there and then and perhaps scatter her office wall with some brain matter and blood! I mean I can be impatient most times according to H and other reliable sources BUT ultimately the ball is in baby's court. She'll come when she's ready kan?( which hopefully will not be tooooo long please baby)

So, I asked the Doc that when will she consider baby being overdue- she said that she usually gives it a week- then she would strongly suggest to induce labor.. I have heard some scary stories that inducing hurts ten times more that natural labor - supposedly because natural labor is drawn out and induced labor is much faster? Gahhh. Gahhh. Gahhh.

HELP! i need a very big breakfast now!