Friday, December 14, 2007

Inspiration found !

‘ I do not claim my work to be mine- they belong to the ultimate creator’ Mohamad Din Mohamad - Khat artist

I had one of my morning talks with afiko, and we were discussing my slow progress in generating byline stories - serious stories.
I was complaning and whining my lack of real talent - I mean I cant sing I dance to my own tunes - which is mostly shaking my body from left to right and whole lot of clapping I’am mostly quiet - I only speak when spoken to unless I’am very comfortable with the person ( people often make the mistake that just because I’am not babbling about world issues I’am not thinking about them)I just dont think useless chatter will change anything. I believe in quiet determination. Really I do.
Guess this growing up business has left me a little jaded. I mean with everything that’s happening in the world in my country who wouldnt be>
Well I’am not going to discuss politics now. Anyways afiko was telling me that I shouldnt be so negative and that I should believe in my own writing abilities and sooner or later everything will flow.
Unfortunately the pessimist in me rears its ugly head sometimes. I’am starting to think that maybe I’am not such a great writer after all. Maybe I”am just average. Maybe I’am believing in some ghostly invisible talent.
My assignment lead me to a secluded art gallery smack in the middle of Kuala Lumpur, nearby my opah’s place. I immediately felt at home. As I was talking to the artists about their works, I began to feel ashamed of my lack of passion.

It was then that I decided, that I will not lose the will try. I will not lose my ability to be excited. I’am going to look at everything in every fresh angle possible. I will not be defeated even if they’re going throw everything against me. I will do justice to every small little story ever.
I will believe that I’am a writer and Allah gave me this talent to affect change, to do the best I can. And any good story written will be because of his blessings, any not anything else.

So. If the decision sways in any way I will accept. But I will not quit. Just wasnt brought up that way.

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

waiting to be elevated.

Hello Hello Hello. Been having severe high and lows this two weeks. And its only wednesday. Giler right?

High point - I got to check out shaggy at the Live and Loud music festival/concert thing last saturday. Besides being overcharged for nourishment aka as food and drinks, the atmosphere was gewd, got to chill with a few friends and dance ( which I havent been doing in a long time except in the privacy of my room when I feel a jig coming up) and despite the drizzling rain. I loved every second of it- It was a good thing that we met up with my husband's friend amin at the concert coz he so got the moves..;-) so it made me semangat as well..

Anyway back to the concert, afterwards we headed down to A&W and had vanilla floats with coney dogs and it was just like the old days when the hubby and me had late night foodie dates ( I miss these late nights ) It was a great stress buster. Plus checking out shaggy up close was not bad either. ( very hot bod ;-p) Almost time for me to scurry to an assignment - will catch up with you on the low points - my bitch fest sessions tee hee later..

Thursday, November 29, 2007

light bulb moment

The greatest mistake you can make in life is to continually fear that you will make one - Elbert Hubbard.
I came across this quote when I was feeling a little bit down about work..thank you elbert for putting everything back into perspective, apparently the quote is even more famous than the person who wrote it because it appeared in The Notebook ( yes that really sappy movie, but it is kind of sweet)

* my writing of late has lost some of its edge, I dont even recognise whatever I'am trying to write anymore.

you know those time-outs that authors take to get a fresh perspective on things? * I think I'am in need of some of that time out.. ( yup even the chocolate bars!)

Is creativity something that you lose? like misplacing your car keys or a favourite shawl?
* sigghhh *

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

absence makes the heart grow fonder..

I havent been posting anything since January. With very valid reasons of course. In the space of 11 months - this is basically what I have been up to :-

1) I got married to my shadow - Afiko san @ Afiq hanif

2) I switched jobs - I now write to earn a living

3) I moved from Shah Alam to K.L so that I'am geographically nearer to my workplace.

4) I have been posting regular thoughts and reflections @ bitch fits on my friendster account.

5) I took some months before I adapted to my new job- because some things you have to learn the 'real' way

6) And no sorry no babies on the way yet. Insyallah maybe next year? we'll see ;-)

7) I do want to post something longer and nicer, as an introduction to this blog, but this serves as to why I havent written for a very long time.

8) the real reason is - i forgot the password for my account. (* delirious laughter*)

9) sorry cant help being a little tipsy/crazy and a little bit delusional despite my non-alcohol intake. Runs in the family outburts of moods. I'll be posting some of my articles and hubby's articles for you guys to check out and also some of my original musings sooonn.

10) I wont forget my password again. written it down. heh heh, XOXO

Sunday, January 21, 2007

I'am blogging oh yeah.

This is a introduction. Writing is my therapy. Most people talk. But talk is cheap so the saying goes. And I hate talking because I just complicated matters. And I hate sounding whiny. So here it is… my views of life in general some poems in my moments of inspiration some comments on movies and food ( my favourite subject matter ) some little tidbits of my life the people who play a major part in it..the people who complicate it my adoration for my cats and family my adoration and sometimes irritation for my dearest afiko. My annoyance at my fat boss Amy. My obsession to comment on every little detail. So here’s to my blogging career. Don’t hold your breath ladies n gentlemen & fat lady bosses.