aishiteru

Ayra a few hours after birth and winking away --- yahhh heart melts.. and saying hello to the world!

Daddy-o and baby Ayra Rayyan - having a moment. ( as you can see daddy is kinda of tearing up hehe, i snap this pic quickly so he tak sempat pose!)

Ayra Rayyan B Muhammad Afiq

12/02/2009

on her second day in the neonatal unit!

she is a strong beautiful girl

get well soon Ayra!

Sitting here days after giving birth to my beautiful baby girl , my head spins with thoughts, feelings and emotions. I am not sure exactly how a person is suppose to feel after becoming a mother for the first time.

All I can say right now to future mommies, to all mommies- I have so much respect for you... for all the pain you had to go through. I think its true what they say you can never really began to understand how a mother feels, until you are one. Mama you're one tough cookie, I love you very much.

And Papa - I love you too! Fathers also go through a lot. Especially with daughters.. its a very complex thing- but despite everything and during the t difficult delivery I was extremely grateful you were there, could not have made it without your support and love and prayers. Daddy's are the best!

I'am still nervous about how I will make all this work especially when the H goes back to work and I will be left to care for Ayra myself ( yup that's her name) full name is Ayra Rayyan which is a mixture of armenian and arabic. Its all very new and a bit overwhelming.

I'am especially scared, because of Ayra's delicate condition and because I'am not really mobile myself at the moment - due to the emergency c- section - I feel like I have been run down by a truck three times over. But everytime I see her face and cuddle her close, I feel that I can take over the world, despite the odds against me.

So many people visited, texted and called to wish me and my little family well, I'am so grateful for everything. I'am at loss for words at the moment. So I'll let e.e cummings help me. And since its just a day after V-day I'am dedicating this post for the loves of my life, there are no words that can describe the huge huge huge amount of love I have for you.But I think this will have to do for the moment.

Especially for Baby Ayra Rayyan (mama loves you!) Muhammad Afiq Hanif,(bestest everest little man a little lady can have!) Mama, Papa, Emil and Muse too, Iyas, Naa and Iman (whom will always be my 'rat pack') The Mokhtars and extended family members - such colourful, wonderful people. I love you. Thanks for all the well wishes and prayers... XOXOXOXOXO.

The circle - Chena, Adek, Haikal, Iema and hubby oso and Neena- sayang kat korang slaloo.

And if I forgot to mention anyone else please blame the mind and not the heart and also maternity brains. he. Enjoy the poem.

I carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart)

i am never without it (anywhere i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done by only me is your doing,my darling)

I fear no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)I want no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)and it's you are whatever a moon has always mean and whatever a sun will always sing is you

Here is the deepest secret nobody knows (here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
I carry your heart(I carry it in my heart).