Melancholy Melons

I'am feeling gloomy and a bit restless - so this is going to be a draggging post. And I can drag ( according to my dear editors) so please do not hesitate to refrain yourself from reading any further, if you're not in the mood to hear a waddling watermelon whine.

Everything now is sort of mixed in my head like a good plate of rojak. I lose track of my thoughts, forget things, am extremely moody, and on top of that I'am worried about future events, you know the small things like will I be a good parent? will we be good parents? what will happen when the pains finally start to come? will I be able to handle it and yada yada yada.....

I guess its nothing to be alarmed about right? I mean everyone worries about the same thing? I'am of course perfectly mentally well. Only I'am about to become a nervous wreck. Geesh. I feel like Ally Mcbeal. I should just start talking walls and mirrors right now.

Okay the real thing that is bugging me right at this very moment is its one day to my due date - which is tomorrow. Its 8.00 am now and I'am here writing away to keep my sanity, ( erm if I was ever sane to begin with) because everything just seems to be soo soo normal to the point that anything else might seem slightly interesting.

Let me backtrack a bit.
Last week during my hospital visit( my visits are weekly now since I'am in my 39th week and supposedly I can deliver anytime?) my ob-gynae did the cardiotocography (CTG) scan which basically measures your baby's heartbeat and activity level plus your contraction levels.

I was annoyed because H could not come in with me to the ultrasound room ( I'am not sure why) Its a very uncomfortable procedure to me because I have to lie on my back for 15 minutes staring at the ceiling hooked to machines and because the room is nearby I think a karim rojak stand - I can actually hear people ordering rojak alongside my baby's heartbeat! ( how's that for magical moments?)

So according to the graph results produced by this machine, everything is progressing okay but a little slowly- meaning baby is active (good) but I have no major contractions yet ( erm don't know if this is good).

Doc told me not to worry so much as only five per cent of babies are born on their expected due date. She did ask me about date preferences though - since I'am expected to see her again tomorrow and if I really wanted baby to come tomorrow we could try to induce labor!

I almost felt like bursting right there and then and perhaps scatter her office wall with some brain matter and blood! I mean I can be impatient most times according to H and other reliable sources BUT ultimately the ball is in baby's court. She'll come when she's ready kan?( which hopefully will not be tooooo long please baby)

So, I asked the Doc that when will she consider baby being overdue- she said that she usually gives it a week- then she would strongly suggest to induce labor.. I have heard some scary stories that inducing hurts ten times more that natural labor - supposedly because natural labor is drawn out and induced labor is much faster? Gahhh. Gahhh. Gahhh.

HELP! i need a very big breakfast now!

- - Al Fatihah - -

"To Allah (Almighty God) we belong, and to Him is our return." (Holy Qur'an 2:156) / Al fatihah.

My Opah busu passed away today, a nice small lady who used to mind me while mama was at work in Perak, she slept at my house prior to my wedding to help with the preparations and also came to my engagement.

I know that death is inevitable, that every living thing must die, it is the order of things. I also know it can be difficult to deal with especially when it is a death of a loved one

I'am a bit upset, that I can't go and that I can only send her my prayers from afar due to my condition. My thoughts and prayers are with her family though --

Tales of engagement, pelvises and Yee Sang !

I'am trying to get my mind off my impending due date - - although my life seems to centre around everything baby these days . I'am officially full term, but everything seems to be pretty NORMAL!

I've been walking about quite a lot - since I've heard that it speeds up the process of the baby to be in the right position - which is called being engaged - when the baby's head descends into your pelvis. ( I know sounds really freaky kan?) but everytime I do that my feet tend to swell up like balloons, I'am left with ugly huge feet, i feel awful, tired and irrated and practically ready to kill someone.

So - I've been told by the doc to keep active but to also rest a lot (HUH?) - which does not help cause how can you keep active if you need to rest. Seems like a math equation to me!

There has been a lot of confusion in my life- but this seems to take the cake. I'am throughly confused, very scared and totally clueless, which is not something new but I hope everything turns out well -- I'am so anxious to meet this little person who has been living in me for the past nine months. I hope she likes me. Right there we go baby talk again!

So since it was Chinese New Year a while back, the H insisted that we try Yee Sang – a dish of raw fish slices mixed with crunchies and other ingredients plus sauces of various kinds.
He had tried it at a couple of assignments - and found that he liked it, and insisted that I and one of our good friends from college (also being major foodies) try it as well.

the plate of mixed yee sang that we had - they even gave us free sprite! this plate costs RM38 which I'am not really sure is the standard price or not
!

the H and Chena enjoying their Yee Sang after much vigorous tossing hehehe - its salmon yee sang by the way --

I think part of the attraction or fun of eating yee sang comes from ' 'participation' - all those present at the dinner table, whether young or old, men or women, are supplied with chopsticks and are actively encouraged to indulge in boisterous mixing of the ingredients simultaneously. Thus, a feeling of togetherness/bonding/affirmation of ties/social solidarity is created at the same time.

I suppose one could also say that the kids enjoy this because it allows them the rare chance of playing with their food! ( I suspect this why the H likes it as well!)