I think every parent would like to think of their children in the best possible way, I think every relationship or bond that a parent develops with their children is as simple and as complicated as that four letter L word that lingers around everyone's life.
The other day, I had kind of a bad day and we were late fetching Ayra back from my aunty's place, I had a splitting headache ( I think I need glasses!) and when she was in the car and we were saying our goodbye's for the day, she sort of made a face and reached out her hands to my aunty wanting to stay. My heart broke and I cried quietly all the way back home.
How do you 'merajuk' with a seven month old anyway?
I did not feel angry mostly just sad, and the usual thoughts of guilt made me feel slightly psychotic throughout the day. I wonder if every working mum out there feels the same?
Another ' heart was ripped out of chest incident' happened just the other day when I had to attend a course for a few days. Previously we had spent almost a week together for the Raya holidays and she was used to me being around.
She was being fidgety and cranky, and when I put on my hijab, and passed her to Muji ( mama's helper) she reached out both her hands to me and said 'mema'.
I swear I had to drag my feet out the door and my already fragile heart broke into millions and millions of pieces.
She can babble now, and has learned to say ' Mema' to call me and ' Dada' to call daddy. And ' nenenene' for breastmilk.
So ayra, this is sort of an open letter to you, I hope when you grow up into your teenage years ( insyallah) and your full of hormones and in your I hate everyone stage, Please remember that I love you even if am being wonky difficult or old and that I will always love you and even if you're angry and mad at me to keep my heart intact and in a safe place.
It can only break so many times you know?
Oh and its 5am in the morning and I'am doing your laundry. So later when you work and earn your millions a coach bag, dior sunglasses, louboutin heels and a nice spa treat would be nice. HeHeHe.
Love you Waiwa.
* Mama*
1 comment:
i dont think there is such a thing as it can only break so many times for a mother's heart kot.. heheh. tengok mama. so many endless times darab lima or to the power of five lagi..! broke, broken n will continue to break. haish2. we love you mama!
afiqo ke yg stle rambut waywa...? sama gle in this pic.
miss you guys the tembam team:)
keep up with the good work sistamothamothasista. heh. mmuaxx.
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